Stop Managing, Start Leading: The Secret to True Influence | Bob Freytag

We’ve all heard the proverb: "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." It’s a beautiful sentiment, a powerful metaphor, and a staple on leadership plaques everywhere. But as I sat down with my dear friend Bob Freytag on the latest episode of Learning to Lead, we explored a challenging truth—if you don't have a relationship, no sharpening is actually taking place. You’re just two pieces of metal sitting in a drawer, becoming duller by the day.

Bob’s perspective, forged in the high-stakes environment of U.S. Navy submarines and refined through decades of consulting with the Blanchard group, reminds us that leadership is not a solo sport. It is a partnership. We often get caught up in the "execution loop"—the busyness of doing—and we forget the vision. We forget that if no one is following us, we aren't leading; we’re just out for a stroll. To truly lead, we must move past our titles and start focusing on the speed of our relationships.

One of the most profound shifts a leader can make is moving from "fixing" to "helping." We fixers often have good intentions, but we end up creating a culture of fear where people are afraid to admit what they don't know. In our conversation, Bob breaks down how to create an environment where the "D2" (the disillusioned learner) feels safe enough to say, "I’m frustrated and I need help." When you diagnose the need before you apply the leadership style, you stop committing "leadership malpractice" and start building a foundation of trust.

As we prepare for the Vanguard Ministries Leadership Summit this May, I want to challenge you to look at your own "iron." Is it usable? Is it sharp? Or has it become dull under the weight of leftover pain and busy execution? I invite you to join us as we dive deeper into these systems of hope and healing. Let’s stop settling for the metaphor and start practicing the reality of sharpening one another. I’ll see you at the Summit.